They!

by Kevin Hughes

"They" are a powerful group. Even more powerful than what; "They" say; is what; "They" do. "They" steal your dreams, make you feel small, stop you from taking life in big chunks. "They" make you aware of all of your shortcomings - weaknesses - character flaws, in order to keep your from trying to grow, expand your horizons, lift your spirit free of the mundane, to live. How powerful are "They"?  Incredibly powerful; for "They" do not even exist.

"They" exist simply because we allow them to exist. We give them substance, power, influence over our thoughts, actions and deeds, by acknowledging their existence. We stay small (most of us) barely noticed in our own realities. Why? Because we are afraid of what "They" would do if "They" ever found out who we really are. A famous poet once said: " Most men live lives of quiet desperation."  Why is that? Fear of what; "They" might say; is the reason. Fear of "They".

Who are we to think we might be smart? To have a great idea? To open our own business? To learn to sing, speak another language, graduate from College? Who are we to think we might become wealthy? Successful? Funny? Interesting? Who are we to think our lives might make a difference? We are afraid that if we do succeed in life; "They" would show up. "They" would start right in on us;  He did this at twelve. He said that at twenty. He made a mistake at twenty-five, he was just lucky, he did not deserve that award, acclaim or fame. "They" are relentless in stacking whatever ammunition "They" need to suck the joy or effort out of our efforts to better our lives. "They" will make it clear to the world; he is not worthy of your admiration, love, or success. "They" will convince you that you failed at your marriage, career, at being a Mother or Father. "They" will use any trick, any small opening, any lingering doubt to try and convince you "They" are right. YOU are not worthy.

I am fifty - four years old. I have battled "They" many times. I can tell you that to defeat "They" you need to know a few things. One; nothing in your past can be undone. It is done. It is over. It is behind you. No amount of regret, guilt, or shame, can undo a single thing about your past. Leave your past there, behind you, in your past. If you didn't like something in your past, then do not repeat it in your present, or give it power in your future. Leave it in your past, where it belongs (because that is where it happened!).  The past is all memory.

Two; your future is actually - today. Tomorrow it will be your past. This is not some weird word play. It is the actual truth. If you want a better Tomorrow, then Today is the day to act. Because, tomorrow, today, will be your past. Want a better past? Build a better today. After enough days pass, your past will be one of fruitful endeavor, love, passion, commitment, contribution, growth. This silences a lot of what "They" say. "They" cannot handle change, growth, the future. "They" mostly live in the past.
Three: since you cannot undo the past, but, you can change your present to include your future, make a new past, today. From this day on, refuse to be small. Declare in a strong, clear, powerful voice: " I will no longer be small. I will not think small thoughts. I will not undertake small activities. I will not be small anymore!"

Once this is done with conviction. "They" disappear. In fact, even if "They" do appear again in your life, you can dismiss them. Banish them from your day. Exile them from your life. Let them talk. You have removed their power. Oh, "They" can say what "They" want about you, "They" always have. What "They" don't realize, is you now know who "They" are. Once that happens; it no longer matters what "They" say; because you no longer care.  You have chosen to grow, to live, to love so much, "They" leave.

Now all that is left, is you. How wonderful!

Maunakea

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