From: Kevin Hughes: Kevin@staytogehter.us
Date: July 26, 2009 12:03:59 PM EDT
Subject: Re: The Final installment of the Ten years at sea – to me the most important – The People you meet at sea….
Aloha All,
When you work at sea for 10 years you meet lots of people. They fall into three basic categories: the people you work with – (other entertainers, cruise staff, crew), passengers, and the people who live in the country you visit. Just like at sea, all of them intermingle just about everyday because you interact with all three groups in just about every port.
When you live on a ship, even a ship as big as this one — you are never more than 1000 feet away from another human being; or 5000 human beings — because that’s how many are on this ship. It means you are basically in an enclosed container, a self-contained community that floats.
It means that one of the challenges you face every day is; having to deal with people you would rather not meet that particular day. Unlike land, where if you don’t like the people in the restaurant, you just do not go back to the restaurant — at sea, if you don’t like the people in the restaurant you have to eat there again tomorrow.
It forces you to grow a thicker skin — become more tolerant, and accept things as they are; instead of the way you would like them to be. You also pick up a new skill, the ability to the hide in plain sight!
That is a necessary skill to develop when you run into the occasional toxic person — and there are a few of those on every ship.
Because I work in the entertainment industry — most of the people I meet on the ship tend to be extroverts; talented, and creative human beings. Most of them have one foot in the present, and an eye on the future. Kathy and I have met some of the closest friends we have ever had out here on ships — one of the bridge lecturers -whom Kathy met many years ago onboard ship- is now her closest and dearest friend.
I have several true friends from out here — one of them a super talented piano player from Scotland. Even though he is 30 years younger than me — in a lot of ways we think alike. I have other comedian friends – who’s work I admire – and I enjoy conversations with them. Then there are others, though I admire their talent — our personalities clash.
On the ship we classify the Acts into two categories: high maintenance and low maintenance. There are some Acts who, when they board your ship, you breathe a sigh of relief knowing they are coming aboard. Because they are good people — besides being good acts. They lift the morale of the whole ship just by being there — there are about a half a dozen Acts that fit that same description. They would be considered low maintenance — they show up on time, you don’t have to worry about them causing a scene with another crewmember, or a passenger — and they are always willing to help
Then you have the high maintenance Acts; you can never really make them happy — they are always complaining about the amount work they have to do, the showroom, the lights, the sound, the people at breakfast — or they talk about the other acts in a negative manner. Depending on how talented they are — they are either tolerated or eventually weeded out.
In general, during this economic down turn — it is the hard-working talented Acts that are surviving the massive cuts in the Entertainment Department. They get longer contracts in general, but less time at home. It is a trade-off that a lot of us have to make in order to keep our jobs.
So we have many friends — folks who we enjoy both their company and their talent. Then there are other acts — that are almost like nephews and nieces — you see them every now and again and you’re always polite — but you really don’t know them. They fly in — get on the ship — do their shows — and then leave in the next port; and they have a slightly different personality and mindset than those of us who are resident guest entertainers and stay board for long periods of time.
One of the things that all these Acts have in common, are their great stories. There is one entertainer– who has some incredible legendary stories; including racing a ship across the Panama Canal on roller blades (he actually won and beat the ship through the transit!), and he also was put in a cage in the middle of a town in China for taking pictures of panda bears! This was during the “Cultural Revolution” years in China, not the best time to come to the attention of officials.
His stories are interesting, hilarious, and genuinely fun to listen to. I mean, how can you not get interested in a story that starts with: “I will never again, marry a woman I met while she was sleeping naked by the side of the Playboy Mansion Pool.”
Or it could be a story from one of the entertainers — that makes all the other entertainers laugh. We have another very famous comedian — and he tells this story:
“I was standing across the street from the post office in Ketchikan Alaska — just talking on my cell phone. About every five or six seconds — a group of people, or a couple, or a single individual, would walk right up to me and smile, then cross the street to the post office. This lasted almost an entire hour. I started to walk back to the ship and went by one of the little tours — you know, the “gold rush” tour — and there was a lady in an 1848 period costume, you know that kind of “dance hall” look. She smiled at me, and said hello. So I talked for a few minutes — and revealed the strange behavior of all those people who kept coming up to me smiling and then crossing the street. She said:
“Oh, that was my fault. Those people wanted to know where the post office was. So I told them: “See the Black guy? Just go to where he is, and then cross the street. The Post Office is right there.”
I broke out laughing. I have been called a lot of things because I’m Black — but I think that was the first time in my life I was ever used for directions.”
The stories of road rash (that is our name for things that happen in airports, hotels, transportation to and from the ship — lost luggage, late check-ins, no food voucher — those kinds of things) are also very interesting and hilarious.
One of our friends — a juggler — was in Africa with another group of jugglers when they ran out of money. So they decided to juggle fire while riding on six-foot unicycles — which usually gathers a crowd and they get enough money to at least go eat. What they did not know, is; that country was undergoing a revolution — and crowds of more than 100 people were forbidden- to prevent riots.
Well, you can imagine in a country where everyone is Black, what happened when White people with long flowing blonde or red hair — suddenly appeared in the market square on six-foot unicycles juggling fire. The crowd quickly swelled to thousands — then sirens came from every direction — tear gas, militia and police everywhere — to break up the “riot”.
My friend the juggler, and his colleagues — were taken by armed policeman into the back of a military van and driven to the port. One of them had the presence of mind to record the event on a little camcorder — it was hilarious — in hindsight. It could very well have meant years in prison — that is a road rash story.
One of my other friends tells a great story about an exchange program between English comics and German comics. Ever since the end of World War II — the two countries, once a year, have a show of the other countries stand up comics. So one year the show is in England — with only German comics on the bill — the next year it is in Germany with only English comics on the bill. The Germans all understand English, to make it easier on the English comics — and the German comics all speak English when they go to England. My friend did this show in Germany. He opened his act (which is one hour-long) by telling the German people that they have been so gracious for so many years in allowing everyone to speak English — he had decided to do his entire one-hour show in German.
The Germans applauded politely. He then said: “ I will begin speaking only in German for the next hour.” He then opened his show with these words: ” Vee vill now do za show – in German. Ven I vill do dis next trick – you vill laff und zen you vill be amazed.”
Yep. He did one hour-in English- with a very bad German accent. The Germans went nuts — and thought it was hilarious. For the entire hour, he never once broke character — just continued to speak in a very bad German accent- the English language. Stories like that fill hours on the ship.
Then you meet the passengers — ordinary people who have experienced extraordinary things. You get to talk to them and find out things like: a 90-year-old woman who was the oldest female to ever climb Mount Fuji; ninety year old Mountain climbers are a rare breed indeed!
When I shook her hand, it was like holding a brick. We asked her how she rested on the side of a mountain, she showed us. Now, remember, this woman was 90. She just reached up, took her hand, swung it like an ax and wedged it between two rocks — and then just hung there. Just hanging from her one hand, wedged in between the rocks.
Amazing to us — but apparently, an ordinary skill amongst mountain climbers.
We met another family — they turn out to be Jewish; they organized the largest collection of motorcycle riders in Canada to drive down to Tennessee to deliver 50,000 pebbles to the Holocaust Memorial there.. You can look up the whole documentary — about a small-town teacher who wanted the kids to remember the Holocaust by getting a paper clip to represent each of the 6 million victims of the Holocaust. It is a real tearjerker.
We met a Canadian guy who brought 50,000 pebbles instead of paper clips. The reason he brought the pebbles instead of paper clips; is that in his particular way of practicing his Faith — you leave a pebble on the grave of a loved one for each good deed that happened after they died. What I mean by that is, if your Dad and Mom taught you not to steal — and you found a wallet and returned it to the rightful owner. Then that good deed was not fully you — it was because your parents taught you not to steal. So, you put a pebble on your parent’s grave. I think that is a pretty cool custom.
We met another lady; just picture your ordinary, very tiny, little grandmother, with a European accent, You would then have a fair representation of Judith Miezel. She is a Holocaust survivor — and was sent to a death camp when she was only 12, along with her 14-year-old sister. Her documentary which won a lot of awards — is called: “Tak et all.” That is Norwegian for: “Thank you for everything”.
She walked with her sister, from Poland to Norway during World War II. They were being taken from a concentration camp to a death camp (if you’re wondering what the difference is — death camps had ovens) when the column they were walking in, was strafed by fighter planes.
In the confusion they escaped. One of the reasons Judith is famous — is she is one of the only white people on the platform in Washington DC when Dr. Martin Luther King gave his famous; “I have a dream” speech. How she ended up on that platform — and why — is worthy of a documentary in and of itself. If you get the DVD of her World War II experiences — one of the extras is how she ended up on that platform.
I will never forget one of the things she told Kathy and I at dinner. We asked her if she thought prison camps could start again — she told us this: “If a fat girl walks by your table — and the other people make fun of her, and you do nothing to stop them from making fun of her. That is the beginning of a concentration camp.” Watch the documentary — we got to see her speak live — and got to go to dinner with her. She has a wicked sense of humor and was great company.
One of the other passengers I met had been married to his wife for 69 years. That is the longest marriage I have ever personally met. As he held her hand and talk to me I asked him: “69 years with the same woman would you do anything differently?” His answer should go down in the annals of romantic history.
Here’s what he told me:
“I would have married her sooner.” That, my friends, is a beautiful answer.
I turned to his wife and asked her:
”69 years with the same man, is he trained yet?”
“Nope. He will die first.”
Then there are funny little incidents that happen with passengers. I put my toast in the toaster up in the Horizon court — went over to get butter to put on my plate — and came back to the toaster just in time to see a passenger woman take my toast. I said to the lady: “excuse me Miss, but that is my toast.” She said: “Oh no. It is automatic.”
I broke out laughing.
We have met Nobel prize winners, Holocaust survivors, people who speak 10,or more, languages. People who started in a new country with no money in their pocket — and now are doing well enough to pay for a cruise. We have met ordinary people who save their whole lives to go to one destination.
We have met people who have survived incredible car wrecks, or plane crashes, or cancer — and then carrying on with their lives as if nothing happened. We have heard stories that tell about the whole deep, wide, well, of human experience.
I wrote (in a previous e-mail) about the lady that we met who was suffering from a disease that did even have a name — and even though she is the only human being to have whatever this is — she was still enjoying her life and had plans for her future — even though she already knew her future might be short.
It really makes you think about life–that some people only have a few years, and live a lifetime — other people have a lifetime, and only live a few years.
Not all the stories are extraordinary — until you really sit and think about them. Many stories of Romance how couples got together with each other resemble our story of dating and courtship. Young man meets young woman — makes up his mind immediately to marry her — she agrees, and they are still married 30,40, 50,or even 60 years later.
We have met authors, sailors, fighter pilots, Nobel Prize winners, CEOs — housewives, neighbors, sons and daughters. We have met people from many different walks of life, from many different religions, and many different countries.
They teach you little things — like for example, if you are looking at a painting of Indian gods like Shiva — if they are blue in color they are divine. That is a cool little thing to know when you’re looking at their paintings of their gods and mortals mingling.
Or you learn from the Japanese not to stick chopsticks into the bowl of rice and leave them standing there — since that is a funeral symbol in their culture. Or you learn in Germany if you are leaving a table with a lot of people at it — to just knock on the wood of the table rather than shake everyone’s hand to say goodbye. You learn that in almost every language, there is a formal way to say “hello”, or “goodbye”; to people you don’t know or who are older than you – and then there is an informal way to say goodbye or hello to friends, or people you know well.
Sometimes you get to witness human graciousness and class in action. We were sitting at a table with four women around the age of forty; when another woman joined us at the table. The late joiner was in her late 30′s and was wearing a bandana around her head. During the course of the conversation – she revealed that she was battling cancer and had no hair. She said she did not like wearing the bandana- and did not want to stand out as the only bald lady. Well, the other four women looked at each other- smiled and nodded to each other.
Then all four of them removed their wigs. All were bald from Chemotherapy. Everyone laughed, and the woman with the bandana took it off, and sat beaming, surrounded by women who were supporting her in a very quiet personal way. That, my friends, is pure CLASS. By the way, until the moment they removed their wigs, no one knew that they were sick. Class.
One of the things, so subtle, that it sometimes skips by you unnoticed — is that everyone on a cruise ship was brave enough to leave home. It does not matter if they are passenger or if they are crew. They were brave enough to leave home go to an airport or port — and go to a foreign land. That is outside the comfort zone of most people. The people who enjoy travel and live on the ship — are almost a separate breed.
New experiences are eagerly anticipated by this group of people — they do not need the constant same environment or familiar surroundings. For them, there is no real judgment call — different does not mean bad, or good, it just means it’s different. They tolerate behavior and customs and basically follow the old rule: “When in Rome do as the Romans do.”
I have really enjoyed the people I’ve met while out at sea — and it has given me a greater appreciation for both: the people who stay at home and build a community- a town -a civilization; and those who travel and introduce people to new or novel ideas or customs — we need both populations.
I hope some of the stories made you laugh, or made you think, or gave you a little glimpse into our lives out here at sea. It sure brought back some wonderful memories of some wonderful people to relay them to you.
That’s it for this series of 10 years at sea by Kevin and Kathy Hughes. Maybe in another 10 years — if I am still out here — I can write about what it’s like to be at sea for 20 years. Of course, by then the ships will be so big that you will never even realize you are at sea as you mingle amongst the other 30,000 passengers. I know you think I’m kidding — but the largest cruise ship ever is coming out in May of next year — 6000 passengers, 2800 crew – 8,600 people on a single ship. Eeve bigger ones are planned!
Allow from Kevin and Kathy at sea.








