Kevin Hughes Blog

“Behind every crooked thought, there is a crooked molecule.” Candice Pert….my thoughts have been crooked long enough…

August 6, 2011 kevin No comments

Aloha All,

I apologize for letting “Road Rash” seep into many of my emails over the last few months. I knew about the physical Road Rash, crying babies, middle seats, cancelled flights, airport food, belligerent seat mates ( four hours next to a Political Pundit of any stripe, is not a fun thing!) What I did not realize it how much mental Road Rash I was creating in my own head. Yes, stress kills, and most stress is self induced by how you talk to yourself in your mind.

Yes, we all brain chatter. The old saying was: “You can always talk to yourself, but when you start to answer…look out!”  My brain chatter was becoming exclusively negative. I didn’t like that … and wasn’t even aware that I was doing it. Until this last trip. My blood pressure soared up to 151/111 ON MEDICINE. That, my friends, scared me. That was self induced, yes I was physically tired, and yes, I had been awake for most of 40 hours; but to go up that high , on medicine; I had to have some huge bottled up emotion. The emotions that produces those kinds of numbers are the negative ones: Anger, Guilt, Shame, Frustration, envy, jealousy (not personal jealousy…that isn’t in my genes. But jealousy over life style, or even selfishness)

So, how do you get back to the Positive Emotions? Love, Peace, Contentment, Forgiveness?  You have to do some soul searching, find your triggers, and either have them trigger a Positive Emotion; or find a way to stop the thought as soon as it becomes conscious. Or avoid the things over which you have no control – TV, Newspaper Stories, etc… Which leads me to the following action steps:

The biggie, the one that has no number: ” Say “NO”.  Yep. Just that single word can keep a lot of monkeys off your back. Victims are great at manipulating your feelings of guilt, or playing on : “Well, it is the right thing to do.” No it is not. No is a great word to use. As my daughter discovered for herself down in Belize, when she wrote this: ” Doing the right thing, isn’t always right.” Yep. Sometimes doing the right thing lets the victims of the world , destroy the lives of folks who have built something. Say “NO”. Don’t want to volunteer? Say : “NO.” Don’t want to go garage sailing with your wife? Say “NO”. Not often, or you won’t get any more cool crap that used to belong to someone else! LOL  Set your limits. Set your boundaries. Say: “NO.”

I don’t mean to harp on this, but it has to be strong “NO” without explanations. Because explanations are where the manipulators and guilt mongers know how to twist your words.  Just say : “NO.”  Don’t want the gig? Say ; “NO.” It is a very empowering word.  Now here are the numbered ones! LOL

1) I used to use relaxation techniques daily. Just some simple muscle and breathing exercises.  I stopped. Now, I am looking forward to starting them up again.

2) I focused on what I didn’t have or want; and not on what I do have and don’t need. My life has been filled with lots of love, joy, and fun….and I CHOSE to ignore some of that.  Time to go back to thinking good things about myself and others. Not letting the Monkey get on my back in the first place.

3) I forgot that the only person in control of how I feel, is me. So simple in concept, so difficult in application.  If I decide to be excited about the day, and focus on something I want to get done – it is my choice to do so.  Just like sitting around not really doing anything – is also refreshing, and my choice. I decide how busy, and for what reasons I want to be busy. I got caught up in a flurry of “Lack”.  My thinking was based on “not enough”, and not on : “There is plenty out there.”

I won’t give you the specifics – but, for the first time since 1993 – I am sitting down and writing out some realistic goals for me, and a plan to get there. Haven’t done that since 1993. The reason? Well, back in 1988, I started writing very specific and time restricted goals. Like getting a Private Pilot’s license. Flying myself to Canada in my own plane (well, rental plane! LOL), Making a commercial, being on Radio, getting an article published….stuff like that. I reached – in the five years I wrote my goals out – almost 100% of them. Actually, it was 97% . Close enough for Government Work.  I got scared. It seemed there was no limit to what was possible (and for you folks out there , who haven’t messed up as many times as I have – anything is possible! Anything.)

Some were in unusual ways. I wanted my own plane, a Cherokee 180. I couldn’t afford it. But the Club I belonged to, bought one. Turns out, the first two years they had that plane- I put almost all the hours on it. The other folks just didn’t fly enough to justify the extra cost. I flew that plane to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Fargo North Dakota, and Natchez, Mississippi. Just like it was my own.  I don’t fly anymore, haven’t flown since 2009 when I went back and learned how to fly with a Glass Cockpit ( computers that are simply amazing, and make some of the small planes have technology that rivals the airlines!).

Then this aging thing crept up on me. Again, I looked at things I couldn’t do anymore, see, hear, hold my pee! LOL And not the things I still can do; Think, Love, make folks laugh, Learn (although slower than when i was younger!) I took time to bond with old friends and family again. Because it is really all about people. As I have said in many emails, it is love and forgiveness, that give the real juice and meaning to this life. Stuff just makes you comfortable! LOL

Along with my growing old aches and pains, came kind of a mental drain. I didn’t want to push anymore. Maybe aging does that, yet, I do know folks who have ignored that- and as old Satchel Page said: “How old would you be, if you didn’t know how old you are?” Good thought. Willie Tyler and Lester ( He is the famous Ventriloquist with the Black Puppet- and the Man who has taught me more about Class and how to carry yourself as an Entertainer, than anyone I know). Well, Willie is 72 Years old, has a schedule that makes mine look like a cake walk! Willie, has flown over 400,000 air miles in a single year! One time hitting all five major continents in less than two weeks! Never complains, never vents, just is glad to be working. Hmmm……

So, hopefully, as I continuously scratch out some things I used to want to do ( Like on my old 1988 Bucket list, was this: Live in a foreign Country for a year) well, after 42 months doing Europe, and an average of about 60 days per Port over that time – I have a pretty good taste of a lot of cultures. Not an in depth experience , like my daughter and her husband living in a Mayan Village for 2 years; but, enough of an experience to satiate my need for foreign experience. I would love to see more of America, even though I have worked in all fifty states over the years. So, living over seas for a year – not on the list anymore. 79 Countries in 12 years of travel, is enough. The Military sent me to a lot of places too, and that is a different experience than living and working in a different country.

I am taking my time with this, many hours of thought, as my list gets whittled and edited. By my birthday (September, 28) I am hoping to have a rough road map of the next decade. As you know, life happens in spite of your plans, but your plans give life something to work with!

Kevin on the way back to living! LOL

Thinking out loud none

Limiting Beliefs, Paradoxes, and the Future

August 3, 2011 kevin No comments

Aloha All,

I am writing this as a Blog, so, I am working out a few bugs here. Amongst friends. I find myself in an awkward part of my life right now. Not really believing in the Capitalist System, yet, needing it to fund my own future! LOL  I wonder how much I am capable of listening to anymore.  I have never been a fan of the naysayers…but deciding how to live my later years – shows me how deep rooted limiting beliefs are;  and how insidious. You can’t seem to escape them, you have to block them out on purpose.

Life isn’t over at any particular age. It is over when you die; and that may not even be a true statement. More accurately, your existence on this plane of existence is over- at least for you. So when I think about my future…I have things I want to do; just not the way I have been told to do them. I don’t want to work…I do want to grow. Is one possible without the other? Don’t know. Yet.

A lot of paradoxes  seem to crop up: He who hesitates is lost. Look before you leap. Depending on the situation, either is applicable; or you could simply not get lost, nor jump! We are filled with “either – or” messages. You can do this, or that. Well, we all know that is not true….we can do this, or this, or that, or that too, or even this; or, maybe that. There are as many possibilities as we care to think up, and try. Hmm…try. There is another hidden gem…keep trying. How do you know if you are good at anything, if you didn’t at least try? And how many times do you try until you quit?

Old Edison didn’t give up on the light bulb for 10,000 tries! When asked how he kept on when failing so often; Edison interrupted the guy and said: ” I never failed. I discovered 10,000 ways NOT to make a light bulb. ” Interesting way to look at it. How many folks would go into business with a guy who failed at 10,000 businesses? Yet the average Millionaire in this country, has been bankrupt at least two and half. According to the business gurus; this happens for three reasons:

1) When they make their first million ; they get big heads and lose it all. (What we call New Money People; who want you to know they are wealthy…so, they have a five thousand square feet home in a prestigious neighborhood, and a Lexus and Mercedes; and they live paycheck to paycheck. Living in one room of their giant house, keeping up appearances)

2) Then they make a million again…and lose it. This time, because they tried to get bigger, faster.

3) The third time, they make and keep their million – and realize that the same skills to make a million, are the same you need to make ten million- or more. At this time, they remove the limiting belief on the amount they can earn- and they tend to keep their money!

In the Ultimate Irony, you have to fail to succeed. You can also fail after you are successful, and you can do either as long as you have the energy and drive. Psychologically , it appears that being comfortable is the time you are least likely to change, to grow, to succeed, or to fail. You just sit there, enjoying the NOW. Great place to be- for some. Until you get reminded of another saying: “If you aren’t moving forward , you are falling back. ” Or, as we used to say in the Army: “Lead , follow, or get out of the way.”  What if you don’t want to lead, follow, or get out of the way? What if you don’t want any of that stuff?

Then you have to let go of lots and lots of limiting beliefs, the people who espouse them, and the situations that generate them. I don’t want to be a hermit, living alone on a mountain top. I like good food, with good people to talk with around me, in safe, comfortable surroundings. That takes money in my society. Money isn’t everything, but in a Capitalistic Society, it sure gives you options. It also gives you the ability to say : “No.”

The famous : “F*ck you money.”  Where you don’t need any money, you have enough. Enough, is determined by the individual. If I had not taken care of my children for so long – I would have had more than enough for me. But, I wouldn’t have done the things I wanted to do for my family. Or even Kathy. So, as an Individual, I need more; as a family I did enough. Again, a paradox.  Can you make yourself truly happy, while making everyone around you happy too? Depends.

In the long run, we all lead our own lives. Yet we are all connected. There is no simple answer to any of life’s questions, and the biggies have managed to escape some of the smartest minds ever to live. Biggies like: “Why are we here?”  “What is the purpose of life?”  “What does it al mean?”  These questions have boggled the minds of many over the centuries, and when you make them first person personal :  “Why am I here?” They can become overwhelming.  At that point you have to go NIKE…and: just do it. Just live, and struggle through like the rest of us.

At the moment of your death, the only one there dying – will be you. As much as someone loves you, they are not going with you. It is extremely personal- and restricted to just you. Others might be dying around you, but they are not you. You are the only one that fully experiences your own death. Remarkably, we can’t seem to realize that we are the only ones who experience our own lives too!

Much more for me to ponder. I wonder if i have limiting beliefs; or if I am just limited. Not playing with words here – I truly mean that.  I think I can reach contentment – I have certainly reached comfortable a few times – but can I let go of me? That is the big question.

Smiles Kevin just thinking out loud.

Thinking out loud , , , ,

Babies brought into the world…Who Decides?

July 27, 2011 kevin No comments

I too, fire blanks. But, recreation is much more fun than procreation!

Some salient points in your email. I believe that nothing good comes from Lack. When you are poor , you lack so many things, that anger, frustration, selfishness, mistrust, envy etc….well, they grow to become part of your personality. To make it through poverty – as a child- you need a couple of good things: Parents or siblings who care about you – and a neighborhood that is as poor as you are. That way, you don’t think of yourself as poor, because no one else has anything either. The last ingredient to make it out of that cycle – is plain old hard work. Yep. Who’d a thunk? Work is a great equalizer.

What work does, if it is done well, is give you a sense of completion , of accomplishment; which is often lacking in the poverty cycle. Because a lot of the work done there- is just hard work. No purpose to it. No feeling of contribution. Making Nike Shoes, for 13 cents an hour, in horrid conditions – is not conducive to breaking the cycle.

However, if you have to work hard on the farm, full on chores at 3 years of age; well, you feel like you contributed to the family. You feel needed and necessary. Eventually, you find a way out of the cycle. Folks like you, who in spite of their circumstances, are what gives folks in those circumstances – HOPE. Something to believe in. In a lot of ways (in a Western Culture anyway) you can decide your own destiny. It comes with a wagon train full of baggage though. A wagon train that has to be unhitched at some point. Or the horses of : Willpower, Belief in a future, Chasing a dream, And leaving the Past behind, become hobbled, crippled , or even just die along the path.

The world is a better place because you are in it. Had you had children, your own battle to fight free of your childhood would have been compromised, and you may have lost the energy to complete your journey- hence the old saying: “lives of quiet desperation.”

I agree with your comments in your email:

…” Although it flies in the face of democratic values, I think there ought to be a means-test for parenthood—making it almost impossible for people to legally reproduce themselves.

In other words, there ought to be a guarantee that children will be raised in healthy and happy environments in which they learn to love and care and act responsibly.”

I have often thought that we do it backwards: Instead of taking a pill to preventing a child; one should have to take a pill to HAVE a child. In other words, we should all be sterile, until we find a life partner compatible with raising a child, and we both WANT a child. Then we should have some minimum tests and training to see if we do indeed have the basic things a child needs : food, shelter, safety, and Love. Then you are given a prescription to have a pill to make a child!

Having the State in charge, and determining who can and can’t be a parent…dangerous to say the least. What if you are indeed a couple worthy of children – and the person representing the state, just doesn’t like you? Permission Denied. Then you have a seed (no pun intended) for the Black Market to grow, and a Child Mafia organization!

Leaving Religions to control it , well, that is why I am even here. My parent were Catholic, Kathy’s were Mormon, and those Faiths teach to have as many souls brought to earth as possible. Luckily, my parents personal philosophy was: ” We just love our kids, and if the come they come, if they don’t , they don’t.” My Mom thought she was lucky to have each and every one of us. I think Dad may have had second thoughts about some of us! LOL

With Religion in charge, well, then people have to marry just because they are having an “illegitimate baby” ; a concept that I never bought into, by the way – no baby is illegitimate – they are all legit! But, how many kids grew up in an unhappy home, or young kids were plunged into abject poverty simply because they : “had to get married” ; or they married the wrong person because it was : “The right thing to do.” In a lot of cases, no it wasn’t.

The current Pope, for example, is telling hundreds of millions of Africans : ” You cannot use Rubbers to prevent aides, because you are denying the birth of a child.” So, a simple thing like a rubber, which would save millions of people, is a not available – but dying a horrible death, and having children BORN with the disease, and suffering their entire lives. And most live just long enough to reproduce; that is okay, and God’s will.

So, if individuals aren’t smart enough to decide not to have children, and the State and Most Religions , have a different agenda for why and how, and how many kids should be born. What are we left with ? I am afraid that Nature will do what it has always done with overgrown populations: either provide a predator population to stop the growth (after the prey is decimated, well, then the predator population dies of – natures positive feedback system) , or starvation, or a series of disasters (war, famine, earthquakes, floods, climate change etc…) to bring the numbers down.

Me? I am glad I got to be here. I am Glad all of you reading this are here. Being born, is a privilege; and just the fact of your birth, is like having a lottery ticket- you may not win; but, at least you are in the game! LOL

Kevin of the willing to submit a list of about 4 and Half billion folks who shouldn’t have been born….and that is an entirely different slippery slope, and yet, it got Hitler to control almost all of Europe! Who decides? Who, Indeed.

Kevin of the glad I am not reproductive…or even productive…

Thinking out loud , , , , , , , ,

the Secret life of Walter Mitty – Lives on in me….

July 23, 2011 kevin No comments

Aloha All,

Walter Mitty was a character that used to be able to solve any trouble or speak any language, in order to help someone in distress.
For example: He would daydream at his desk, that a person had fallen over on a sidewalk with a severe medical problem. That person needed an emergency procedure, but no medical kit was available.
Walter Mitty would use his quick mind, and available resources to fashion a makeshift tube ; out of a ball point pen, and using a woman’s fingernail file to make the incision- he would then save the person’s life by forming an airway through the slit in the throat.
Then, Walter Mitty would wake up, and realize he had just daydreamed all those heroics. His actual life and job, were just boring pencil and paper pushing clerical stuff.
Then he would daydream again, about saving someone’s life by using a shoestring, and several belts to make a rappelling rope seat, and lower himself down to the ledge where the poor victim was stranded. Once again, waking up to realize he had day dreamed the whole thing.
I wonder how many of us, have Walter Mitty inside of us? Oh, I know you scoff at the idea:
” Preposterous! I live in the real world, not one of fantasy.” You may say. I say: “Really?”
Have you never, not once in your entire life, ever pretended (or daydreamed) about being able to speak several languages? Rising to the rescue in a crowded airport to aide the poor people speaking Basque? Or Chinese? Or Samoan? Or Italian, German, French…. Or , maybe ALL of those languages?
Have you not daydreamed of being the Hero? Saving a person, a country, or a world? When you left the original Rocky movie, weren’t you able to hold your own against the Champ?
How many women have you daydreamed about making their life easier? Or how they could not resist you? Or you could drive them so wild in the bedroom that Casanova’s seductions; looked like amateur attempts by an immature schoolboy?
Have you daydreamed about being so rich, you could fire the wrong doers, buy the business on the spot, and fire the malicious manager?
How about dreaming about standing in line at a checkout counter- watching a young mother and her three children – turn beet red with embarrassment; because they had no money to pay for it all.
You lean over and give her a thousand dollars and say: ” This fell out of your purse. Why don’t you take the kids out for new clothes and ice cream?” The smile and awed look on her face, as her emotions pour across the lines of her face, like water over and icy windshield. Unable to comprehend you generosity ; she simply melts into your arms, and sobs. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ” You hear coming from her voice, muffled in your chest. You smile. Unwrap her hug, and walk away knowing you have done a kindness, and bestowed hope, where there had been none.
How many dreams of winning the lottery, building your brother’s and sister’s their own homes? Giving your Mother the house of her dreams, and a car to boot! Paying for sick children out of your winnings. Becoming the Big Man. The Generous Man. The Man.
You see, Walter Mitty is in all of us, and it is the Walter Mitty in us, that makes hope spring eternal; and World Peace a possibility and not a day dream!
Long Live Walter Mitty in all of us!

Thinking out loud , , , ,

The Old Swimming Hole….still there! Fifty Five years later.

June 20, 2011 kevin No comments

Subject: RE: Swimming fifty -five years ago…and maybe even longer than that. Memory is a funny thing…..

Aloha All,

Today, Kathy and I went to almost all my old “swimming holes”; except only one was still there. Broadview Lakes , is now a private Gated community. Wild Wood lakes, is privately owned, and you are not allowed in at all. That left what I always called: Berea Quarries, and that is still there; still open, and still FREE. Except, its real name is : Wallace Lake. I never called it that, Mom and Dad probably did, not me.

I got my first terrible sun burn there- I was five. I got burnt so bad, that the blisters were the size of half dollar coins, and Dad had to heat a sewing needle, then poke the bottom of the blisters ; one at a time- so they would drain. It took me three weeks to heal. So, for those three weeks, I was left with a relative, while they went out to the lake. Peeling the skin off of a healing sunburned back was a treat, and we would all try to pull the biggest “piece of skin” off, without ripping out any of the New skin. Because pulling the new skin off , well, that hurt like heck. And man, it would get itchy. No super sun blocks back then, just wet t-shirts. No one knew about UVA/UVB – nor cared!

We went almost every Sunday – and a whole lot of Saturdays during the summer months. We,as a family, went to Wallace Lake to swim,from the summer of 1952 (which I do not remember at all) until the summer of 1963 – I was 11 that last time in 1963…soon to be 12.

My first memory of actually being there, was in 1956 – 55 years ago.  It looks much the same now, except for a paved parking area, and the wooden raft is gone, and there were only about 30 kids around the lake today, and not the 300 that crowded the water, when we were kids. Sometimes, all you could do was stand, there were so many kids, you couldn’t actually swim.

That is, unless you could go past the ropes – where the “Big Kids Swam” , or tried to kiss their young partners – with only their heads above the water. I was a kid, and none of that yucky stuff appealed to me. I did want to swim in the “deep water” – beyond the ropes. And even though I was a good swimmer, and I could pass their test: swimming from  one side of the lake and back – I was so short, and so little, they wouldn’t let me.

Here is Wallace Lake (Berea Quarries in my memory bank) as it appears today…almost exactly like it looked in 1956 – the first year I remember swimming there – and only because of the giant sunburn that year! (more writing beneath the picture!)

Notice how even at the ropes, the water is only about 3 feet deep? Maybe 4 Feet in places? Well, I thought that was deep water. My feet only barely touched the bottom, with my head out of the water – in just 3 feet of water. I was tiny! I used to think the rope was so far out…Now remember, I swam here before I even started school, and like most of my family, I was very small for my age.

There used to be no parking next to the lake. You parked a good quarter of a mile away (on gravel or grass) and then lugged all your picnic stuff to a table; and then Dad or some Uncle would make burgers and hot dogs. The kids and an older sibling, or Mom, would then go to the “beach” and stake out a blanket spot. That is where everyone under Ten years of age hung out. The teens went and jumped off of the wall – which seemed so high back then. You aren’t allowed on it now…it is a lifeguard station.  And the swings are gone too.

They would also walk on the other side – which looks like a river, but is the lake winding around a bend…and it had little beaches where you could hide and smooch. So everyone went to Wallace lake – and there were things to do for everyone. Back then – 1956  until 1963 ; 1963 is the last time I actually went there, until today! Society was a bit different…

First, everything was closed from Friday at Five PM, until Monday at 9 AM. Nothing was open. Not a thing. Once in a while, a Gas Station (37 cents a gallon by the way; and Full Serve!)

Second, on my street alone, there were 8 families with more than 10 kids! Most had at least four or five. Many , many , many more kids at the lake then now.

Third, because no one worked on the weekends…the older men would play Softball (fast and slow pitch) – and they usually were sponsored by Taverns or Pubs; or a Factory. Names like Pyramid Cafe, or Clark Spring and Wire, or Tony’s Barber shop…they looked so big and huge to us kids. They would play in the late afternoons, or even night games at the fancy park in Lakewood.

Down at Wallace lake picnic area, two ballfields, still there. You could get out of the water, and go join a pickup game; there were so many kids, that you would pick a team (11 players!) and your whole team would call “Next”; and play the winning team for 3 innings. This went on all day.

Back at the swimming hole, almost all the kids were 10 or younger – the Boomers. Almost all the guys were 28 to 38 – and most were WWII Vets. So you had men being men; kids being kids, and the women wore bathing caps and one piece bathing suits, or summer dresses. Everyone cooked out on the funny little barbecue stands (watch out for hot coals that some of the less careful folks threw out to make fresh coals. Lots of little feet got burns from the embers, including mine!)

Cars were huge back in 1956, not only in size, but as a kinda “Xbox” for teenagers. It would not be rare to see a “hot rod” parked on the grass with a half dozen older teenagers working on the engine. And everyone smoked. I mean everyone.  But for us little ones, it was all about the water and the beach.

To come back more than 55 years later, and see it still there, still being used by families, and small kids (and on a weekday no less) well, it was a whole mess a memories. Just a plastic cup, a bucket, and a small shovel, and you could play the whole day. Then at sundown, we were often one of the last to leave. My Dad liked to let the traffic thin out. So, sometimes my sister Kay, or my Brother in Law Carl, would carry me back to the car, worn out, tired and ready to sleep -as was my little brother Timmy, who was like two or three  at the time.

We would sleep on the floorboard – using the transmission hump (remember those?) as a pillow. Or, if you were lucky, you got the flat spot under the rear window. Which you kids may not believe, but it was big enough for an 8 year old to sleep on comfortably. Sometimes, people would put vases and a folded blanket on that “shelf”!! We would be wrapped in towels, trying to keep warm as we took the long ride home – back to West 30th street. Pile out of the car in the dark, and be sent right to bed- at 7:30 PM!!! And we went right to sleep.

Until we got to go again, in just a week. That was true for almost every summer weekend I remember, from 1956, until 1963. Beria Quarries, or Wallace Lake, no matter what you call it – you can still call it FUN.

Smiles Kevin

Memories , , , ,

Thoughts on Eternity

June 14, 2011 kevin No comments

Aloha Leo,

Having just finished a marvelous hike, miles and miles of pristine wilderness; and I came across exactly two people. Kathy can tell you how many of these hikes we have made, just holding hands, wandering in places where few, and in some cases – where no other human being had stepped foot. It is truly “one on one” with Nature; sharing it with someone you love, adds to the joy. When you are alone with your thoughts, there is no diminishing of either the awe, or the joy.

I read your email and enjoyed the obvious thought that went into it. You have followed your path, and your beliefs, and structured a life you can live, and a death you can appreciate. You mentioned that you had no fear of death, yet, seemed to convey that without your beliefs ; then death becomes just a black hole in the ground. It is there, that we part ways in our thinking.

People like me , Leo, well, we rarely think about the next life. I live this one- and I live it my way. I love being alive. My life has been filled with love, joy, (read : Kathy), mostly great health, and opportunities galore. It is a warm, intelligent, caring life; lived with the subtle thrill of being given another day. I do not need prayers of gratitude at dinner – for I feel grateful that I can eat;  I have never lost that feeling. I don’t feel bad over my bounty, I want everyone to have it. I wake up grateful for what I have. I also earned a lot of it, by just continuing to live well. Luck has some part, but, so does: hard work, drive, support, and encouragement. In some ways, it is a self made life; as is everyones.

It is difficult for some folks, as you implied in your email, to understand that there are folks like me; who literally do not think often, nor deeply, about what ever is next. None of my life was dedicated to making a next life “better”. For those of you who believe in an After Life, it gives you much hope, and comfort. For some, it is an escape from the pain and suffering of this life; forgetting- sometimes- the absolute joy and happiness that this life gives. I am not saying there is a “right” or “wrong” way to think about the next life. I am saying it isn’t important to me. This life- is.

Whatever is next , will come. It does for everyone. The circumstances of death may vary, but, ultimately death comes to us all. The living have to deal with the loss- and live off of memories until their time comes. The deceased? Well, we will know if there is anything after we die,  quite quickly. I have no idea about what is next; and therefore have no fear of death either. I don’t want to go, because I like living. I like my life, my mind, my Kathy, my kids, and my donuts. LOL  I keep trying to be a kinder, more loving,  more forgiving Kevin; because I think Man can aspire to that- without a guiding deity of any kind.

Did we exist before we got here? Good question. Will we exist after we die? Good question.  Is there more to us than our bodies? That seems to be self evident . What that something is, and what it means…that is beyond me. The Grave is not a black hole to me. It is the end of my life. What happens next, is anybodies guess.

My guess is, if there is a “next”; it will be a pretty cool place; as is this one.  if death is the entrance price to that next place, so be it. If death is all there is, so be it. I have now, today, this moment. As far as I can tell, so does everyone else who is alive. So, choosing to be in the moment, the NOW- while still planning for the future days – seems to be a good course of action for me.

In my almost 60 years on this planet, I have considered what happens after I die, very little. I have thought about how folks who will have known or even loved me- will feel at “losing me”. If there is a next life, then it will be a happy reunion of sorts. If there isn’t, well, it was a heck of a run!

So, here is to life, of which Death, is just the final moment-  as quick and final as Birth. Between Cradle and Grave is life, lives.  Or as the famous quote goes: ” Life happens in the ‘dash’ on a tombstone. And it is a dash, for I find life speeding by at amazing speeds; sometimes to fast to do anything more reflective than to go: Wow!

And for what it is worth; I think life has two meanings beyond what we personally give to our own life. One: It is all about Love. Two : Curiosity, is the defining human trait; causing us to use: our intellect, our imagination, and our passion. I will go to my grave, with peace, and perhaps willing to rest; but I won’t go worried! LOL

Smiles , Kevin

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The Phrase that would not die….

June 14, 2011 kevin No comments

Aloha All, 

  In the world of Scientific philosophy, Ideas are called “memes”; and they spread like viruses. Once they get in your head, they can cause you to “think” differently. In fact, you can’t help thinking about them; if they reach the level of consciousness where you are aware of them. This is the progress of one “meme” – over time, in one individual- me. 

 Here is the backstory. I was sitting on a plane, next to a Physicist who happened to be an expert on Magnetism. I asked her what a atomic particle really was – I knew there names ; Proton, Neutron, Electron, Photon, etc…but, not what they were. Her answer was short and succinct:

 ”Kevin, that’s easy just picture a sphere with no spatial dimensions, and no internal structure.”

 Easy? 

 Well, that has become a bit in one of my shows. Then a few months after having that conversation with the Physicist- I came across virtually the same description in a book called : The Black Hole Wars. by Leonard Susskind…I wrote an email to all of you about that. It was beginning the journey of becoming the: “Phrase that wouldn’t die!”  Or, go away! It keeps coming back up. 

Then yesterday, I am reading a magazine called: New Scientist; when I came upon a short,quarter page article, that contained this sentence:

 ” So how about the electron’s intrinsic spin? It cannot be a rotation in an ordinary sense, as electrons are point particles with no radius and and no innards. ”  

 So, an idea spreads – the meme that a “particle” can have no spatial dimensions, and no “innards” – becomes so common place , that it is used in a short article – as if it was understood by all. It probably is, amongst those who do this kind of work regularly, but the concept/idea/meme – has made it to the level of a layman reading for fun. 

So what’s the idea conveyed by this spreading meme? Here is the fruit from that original conversation; a new field of study. Yep. Quantum Biology. It turns out that one of the unique properties of these particles that have …” No spatial dimensions and no internal structure…” is entanglement. Where a particle acts outside of Time and Space….Einstein’s famous: “Spooky action at a distance.” 

 Quoting from an article in Scientific American (June 2011, Page 42 Box) : “Physicists thought the bustle of living cells would blot out quantum phenomena. Now they find that cells can nurture these phenomena- and exploit them.”  I know what you are thinking – what the heck does that mean?

 Well, let me give you a few examples – and then perhaps we will gather some meaning for “Quantum Biology.”  

 Birds use their eyes , to capture the quantum entanglement of electrons in a magnetic field. Blindfolded birds cannot navigate for migration, because they can’t see the magnetic waves. It turns out, the molecules in their eyes can hold a “picture of quantum entangled electrons in a magnetic field”;  for up to 100 milliseconds – which, by the way, we can only do in the lab for about 50 milliseconds. So they see magnetic lines , in order to fly their migratory routes.

 Next example ( I know this stuff is hard to picture, or believe, but hang in there) :

 Plants that use sunlight, use quantum rules to get the electrons to “prefer” to hit the chlorophyl molecule. In quantum theory, a particle does not have to choose “left” , or “right”, or up , or down. It can choose all possibilities – all at the same time. Yet plants , have set up a  method of making the electrons/photons- “choose the most favorable of all possible paths” for the plants benefit. 

These two things, began the field of Quantum Biology – now, get ready for the big leap ( The idea that comes from spreading the meme at the beginning of this email) :

 These are my thoughts, and not fully formed yet, so bear with me. The rough outline goes like this:

 1) Time and Space are not fundamental properties of reality – in fact, they are second level constructss at best. Since the Quantum effects on biology are not Scalar – but were just hidden from us, until we had the tools to see those effects in birds and plants. 

 2) If entanglement is indeed true at any scale – we are ; for all practical purposes – ONE. Yep, that old biblical saying: ” God is us, and we are God.”  Is actually a fairly accurate statement. All matter – in entangled. What one does, does effect others, only at a scale we cannot (yet) perceive. Karma, may simply be a Spiritual Name for “Entanglement” ! 

3) Since it appears we cannot violate the law of conservation of information ( which used to be the old second law of thermodynamics) – that even in a black hole, all the information is still there – broadcast to the surface as a hologram; as we may indeed be- merely a two dimensional hologram of a three dimensional projection from the center of the Universe, or its “edges”. ( I know, I know, this stuff hurts your head – mine too!) They are such simple “ideas” that require a great deal of thought; and many of them are counter intuitive, that it just kind of hurts your head to think about the implications. LOL) To think, for example, that “nothing” is a necessary pre existing condition to have “something”. Hurts, doesn’t it? LOL

 4) We already know of particles that act “outside of time”- where time is irrelevant to them – tachyons , for one. We now know, that is possible for something outside of time and space, to act within our framework of time and space. And can you come up with a better definition of God? 

 5) So, if everything is connected at some level, nothing is ever lost, and exists forever, in some state or another. Well, you have the basis for an eternal “soul”, and yes, it could exist before time, and after you die. Science meets Spirituality – and kind of skips over Religion. Religions, may just be a way to interpret the “facts” that present themselves as either Science, or Spirituality. In some ways,  Science and Spirituality tend to converge to the same definitions. Religion, does not, as it become “dogma”, and the sense of continuing “questioning” – that is present in both the Scientific Journey, and the Spiritual Journey – becomes absent in Religion. 

 WE may indeed be made in “His image  and likeness ” and because of entanglement – “HE would be us.” Our collective being, may be His being. Except “He”, may be conscious of being outside of Time and Space, and we – are not. And when we “die”, perhaps that limit is removed, and we become one.  

If you followed me this far, you can see many more “branches” to these ideas – all coming from a “chance” encounter on an airplane with an idea that took hold. 

 Smiles to all…of us, who may be only one of us. LOL 

Kevin (at least I think I am Kevin !)

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Cosmic Web, Nerural Nets, and Quantum Particles…One Brain?

April 24, 2011 kevin No comments

Recently, scientists have discovered what they call the: “cosmic web.” It looks remarkably similar to an electronic image of the inside firing of your brain; which is called a neural net.

Incredibly, both of these images look exactly alike. Yet, there is more. For if you look inside a quantum particle–you see the exact same formation of nodes, filaments, and structure.

You also see the same structure–displayed within the computer community–when each user’s computer is a single node in the World Wide Web.

Strangely enough, if you gather enough data points, like Google has, people themselves become a Hive– future lines, of different colors, with all of their connections to other people and organizations–create   a structure that looks a lot like the cosmic web, the neural net, or the interior structure of quantum particles.

What I find interesting about all of this; is this: if it looks like a Brain–is it? I am not being facetious, nor am I being simpleminded. If all higher structures are gestalts– that become larger than their individual components, in their ability to function; which appears to be true. Then  connections between giant galaxy clusters, and individual stars, is no different than the connections in our brain.
One of the thoughts you are probably having right now is; stars and galaxies are inanimate objects, incapable of thought or reasoning. Surprisingly,  so are neurons. In fact, there is not a single cell in your body -of any kind -that is consciously aware that “you”- are “you”.

Your brain, is actually encased in a cave; without light, sound, feeling, touch, or any sensation. Your brain cannot even feel pain–yet you can. You are a collection of cells, stupid cells without a ounce of intelligence between them; many of these cells are in symbiotic relationships–they don’t even have human origins.

You are–a Hive. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, your brain cells are individually stupid. Incredibly stupid. They can only do two things–release and uptake certain chemicals; and send electrical signals. That’s it.

Yet all of those stupid cells, hidden in their damp dark cave, surrounded by liquid–in a world without sound, without light, without smell, without touch, without feeling; create each of those feelings, or senses,  within you.

Actually, they are you. How? Nobody really knows. No one actually knows;  how you” know”,  you are you. Scientists refer to it as the “hard problem”. It is very difficult to understand that stupidity makes smartness.

If all you need are chemical reactions, plus electrical connections , to produce intelligence. Then that intelligence can call itself by an individual name, even though it is not an individual, just a collection of disparate cells working in concert; then what is the difference between the structure of the Universe and the Cosmic Web and a human Brain?

Aren’t  Cosmological Super structures, just a collection of chemical processes connected by electrical filaments? Maybe galaxies use light the way we use dendrites. Allowing connections to be made and thoughts to arise.

I would suggest you go look at a picture of the Cosmic Web–the BBC did a great Documentary called: Everything and Nothing = Everything. Towards the end of it,  you actually see the Cosmic Web in great detail–and they pan out far enough in order for you to see the filaments form, connecting  the nodes and the structure.

Then go look at any neural network model of the brain–it will look identical. It may be just coincidence. Then again, it may be the starting point for a different form of intelligence. Just as our individual cells are unaware that they are part of a colony ; one that has a name and identity. Perhaps,  Galaxies think of themselves as a single entity.

It leads to some wonderfully creative and speculative thoughts. All of us together, are smarter than any individual. There is no single individual on this planet who can build a calculator from scratch.

Somebody did the alogarithms, somebody else mined  the metals and minerals, somebody else designed the photovoltaic cells, somebody else designed the buttons, and the pressure needed to activate those buttons–and somebody else had to figure out how to use it. In fact, most of us could not make an object as simple as a spoon from scratch.

So just like ants, bacteria, viruses, humans may have a hive intellect. Perhaps, galaxies also are a hive intellect.

A collection of very stupid things, connected in the right way, become very “smart”. Perhaps there are levels of consciousness–and we can only be aware of the wavelength we are connected at.  Just like we are unaware of the communication going on in our gut , between  the neurons in our gut–perhaps the Galaxies are unaware of the movement and activities of individual stars or solar systems–but collectively, they call themselves names.

My name is Kevin,.  Perhaps for a Galaxy–it likes the name Andromeda–and decided to keep it. Giving up its given name of: Vrespsbretblieing-##~%**#1022 b;pmgh.

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Computers are aware- or at least their software is! Hawkings was correct! I think.

April 13, 2011 kevin No comments

Aloha All,

Okay, I am listening to a talk given by Stephen Hawking- back about 8 or 9 years. He says : “Computers, at least their software, has been intelligent for at least 20 years.” Just an aside to a question from the audience. Now, almost a decade later – I get what he meant. Here goes!

First, Each neuron in our brain – is blind, deaf, and dumb. In fact, most bacteria make them look like idiots, because bacteria can move, “see light”, and “run away”. They must stare at neurons and go: ” Move you idiot!” They can’t. What they can do, is simply uptake and release certain chemicals…and then electrically move that “information” down to another neuron. At some level, still not understood – the combined idiot neurons, with only chemical and electrical properties; produce thought. And from that- my friend – comes every single human emotion, creation, or failure.

A collection of truly stupid cells; produced the work of: Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Einstein, Mozart, Picasso, Penrose, Carrusso, Descartes, Aristotle, Socrates, Plato; the Sistine Chapel, the Mona Lisa, The Chrysler Building, Falling Waters, and Andy Warhol. Those same truly stupid cells, produced : Nelson Mandella, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Rev. King, and also: Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Mussolini, Shaka Zulu, Ghengis Kahn, Alexander the Great, and Julius Ceaser, and Caligula.

Stephen’s point then, was this – lines of code are truly stupid. They are mere symbols, with no life in them at all. But, and this is the truly big “but”; they send information electronically through a chemical substrate. In the 2,000 or so generations of man to get to this point of technology and science; a computer program can make literally millions of generations of itself. Truly stupid, transpiring at truly amazing speeds, over truly stunning lengths of time. 20 years, in computer code time – is roughly equivalent to the amount of time since stars formed!

What Stephen was saying is true. The idea of an idea – comes from repetition of truly stupid cells/code over time. Hence, computers have been “aware” for a long time. Yet, they have no way to communicate to us, or with us. Like dark matter, we can only infer its existence by the effects on things we can see. When we dive under water , it is quiet. If could just hear a little better, it would be anything but. If we weren’t restricted to visible light – energy would look like a hallucinogenic movie to us. And perhaps within that sentence is the formation of intelligence; restricting the input , in order to make sense out of what is coming in.

One guy started with stick figures, and then left the program running – without any input. It developed more features, the stick figures got legs and arms, and heads and torsos. And then, funnily enough – the more robust figures started to play. Not only play by running, jumping and rolling in somersaults, and falling down; but, they INVENTED a ball like thing – and started to play games. All in a virtual world. In time scales we can only ogle. Yet, just like the neurons in your brain, they have no idea of you, your needs, desires, dreams, or wants; they simply keep doing their job, over and over and over. Until the collected massed stupidity hits a threshold, and out comes an idea!

So, Stephen spoke from a place of understanding and knowledge. We don’t even know why we are aware, and therefore are incapable of understanding “awareness” in different systems. An off the cuff remark, that took me 8 years to grasp. Computer programs are way beyond our understanding, even though we can describe each and every line of code. Just as I can describe each and every component of a neuron. They are not terribly complex as individual cells; yet, they produce terribly complex people- like you.

And now, I understand what he meant, even though i don’t know what it means! LOL

Smiles to all, from my collection of neurons!

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What I learned at the Huffines Discussions – Sports Medicine

April 2, 2011 kevin No comments

Hey Gang,
If any of the facts are off: that is my fault. I am a comic, not a journalist. You can go to the Huffines Institute website; and watch each of these speakers yourself. Something I highly recommend! Here are my thoughts the moment I got back home; after the Discussions. Enjoy!

Aloha All,
As you know, Dr. Tim Lighfoot is the head of an Institute to promote Sports Science to the “end user” ; meaning Athletes, coaches, fitness instructors, and ordinary interested laymen – i.e; you and I. He put together 8 speakers , well 7 and Me. The other 7 were experts – I was the everyman.

How he knew that these folks would “gell” in less than 24 hours, and put on a powerful 4 hour show of information and expertise – that is an Art too! So who were these Experts? What did I learn?

Here goes:

Did you know that when you do an EVA ( space walk) they have to pump pure oxygen into you body for 18 straight hours? That is to prevent the bends. So, before you do your EVA – your only job, is to put on this terribly uncomfortable mask and let the nitrogen be washed and scrubbed from your body while you just sit there, and sleep. Walking in Space, has the same dire consequences that deep scuba divers face – without the water! Richard Linnehan, is the Astronauts name – and he has 58 days in Space, and over 42 hours of “walking in Space.”

There is no “bad” cholesterol. All of it is good and necessary, and without it, your cells would be stiff, and non absorbent; oh, and you muscles wouldn’t work either! Steven Reichman did this work – and discovered that eating whole eggs, to recover from a workout – gave more muscle mass, and quicker recovery, and better metabolic numbers! Meaning your body processed sugar correctly, and blood markers improved. Needless to say – there was, as Dr. Rechman said: “Strong resistance to the research.” Talk about an understatement. Eat eggs after you do strength training!

Okay, Creatine. The Poor man’s steroid. The work done on this PED supplement – well, it is staggering. They are using it to treat Austism; which it does not cure, but ameliorates some of the behaviors, and improves some social interactions. For Alzheimer’s as a preventive medicine – 2 grams a day – and memory in healthy people gets better, as does some other neural networks. They are giving it to MS people, and MD people and ALS (Lou Gherig’s disease) people – all with some positive results. It doesn’t effect the kidneys, at least in those amounts, and it increases strength. Kathy and I will be taking our one and only supplement – Crea-pur – made by a German Company is the best – according to the guy who studies this stuff. The guy who told us about this work is Rick, and he is the head of the Sports Medicine department at Texas A&M.

Timing is everything. Well, Dr. Molly Bray, says; when you eat, is actually more important than what you eat – within limits. It turns out that old saying: ” Eat breakfast like a King, Lunch like a Prince, and supper like a Pauper.” Well, it is true. If you watch her video podcast of her talk, which should be up on the Huffines Podcast sometime this summer- so keep checking them out- you an see all her data. A big nutritious breakfast – and a light nutritious supper- just by changing the timing – you can change your body! Cool (and there is a hilarious section where she shows how the Media can twist the results of a scientists works, and a Blogger that comes across as a completely misinformed cynic- when you see what Molly actually said; and then what was written!)

Oh, and that lead to Dr. Frank Booth- who coined the term: ” SeDES”, which stand for : Sedentary Death Syndrome. 95% of all Type II diabetes is avoidable! About the same percentage can reverses Type II to normal insulin processing by simple lifestyle changes. WALK ! Yep, walking briskly, for just 22 minutes a day, can prevent you from getting it. Walking briskly for an hour a day, plus some changes in diet – and you can move out of the “gonna have Type II diabetes” back to , I don’t have diabetes.

People tell Doc Frank: “I don’t have the time.” His answer: ” Then you won’t have time left on this earth.” If you get Type II diabetes – preventable by exercise- you will live 14 years less than the average lifespan for your birth year. Plus! You will have ten years of “Bad” or “Failing” health (eyesight, sores, etc…) before you do die. Scary stuff. He is mad when he speaks, and deservedly so. He tells folks, you make time to watch 3 hours of TV a night ( by the way – 20 year olds have an average of 8.4 hours of “media involvement ” a day. That mixes TV, Music, Computers and “social media – Facebook and twitter and the like) , a day. Yet no one has 22 free minutes to walk. Oh, and by the way, in people retired, or over the age of 65 – the TV is (are you ready for this?) the TV is on , every moment they are in the house! Background noise, is what people report, what they don’t realize, is even when they are not watching, they are listening!

So, that leads to Michael Reed another Dr. – they are all Dr.’s except for Ty, who is a lineman for the New England Patriots (3 Super Bowls) – he spoke about Professional conditioning techniques, and L.Jon Wertheim – who co authored the book: Scorecasting. Which is kind of a “freakanomics” for the Sports world. He is also a lawyer. And then there was me – LOL

Any ways, Dr. Reed, he studies a thing called “Free Radicals” – those little Plus or Minus signs you see with Calcium, Phosphorus, Sodium etc… it looks like this: Ca+ , or NaCl (Na+ , Cl-) any time you see that little plus or minus, it is a free radical. because when positive and minus combine – the molecule is balanced and neutral – like NaCl – salt!

So, he proved that muscles get weak because of this- and Nitrogen Oxide plays a huge role in muscle activity (not laughing gas, but a similar compound). He also became a licensed Respiratory Therapist – in order to pay for his Graduate Education. None of these folks are slackers. Think about that for a moment – these guys and gals, while getting there degrees, took jobs – or technical courses – and worked full time, while putting them selves through school. The astronaut guy cleaned grave stones -as one of his jobs. They all did what it took, to get where they wanted.
Working on a Ph.D, while doing Respiratory therapy for 40 hours a week…or cleaning gravestones all weekend, so you can take one more class – nothing special to them. They can teach you things, by just being them. You want something? EARN IT!!! They did. No excuses, lots of sacrifice.

Jon ( the author guy) showed in his book cool things like: Omission bias. Here is an example: If 10 kids die from Vaccinations out of 10,000 shots, and if you don’t get the shots, 20 kids will die; logic would say: “Get the shot, 50% less children will die.” But, since parents have to take the kid to get the shot- if the kid dies, they feel like they caused the death. So, they don’t get the shot. As long as you don’t personally have to do something, and something bad happens – you don’t feel bad.

Here is another example: If you are going to play your opponent in Tennis for the big final match; and you know he has a food allergy, and you give him that food without him knowing what it will do. You feel responsible. However, if he is eating a food that he ordered himself, and you know that it contains his allergen- and you simply don’t say anything. You don’t feel like you were responsible. You just omitted bringing it to his attention – but you didn’t do anything.

So much to learn, I just tried to give you all a few samples. Start walking briskly! Eat breakfast. Eat eggs for strength. Consider taking Creatine for you mental and physical health. Turn off the TV for at least part of the day. Get the Facts. Have fun, and laugh a little. Throw in a few hugs, and it should be a good day!

Smiles Kevin of the sensory overload!

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